Relationships VS Time.

There are a few fundamental rules I have been following religiously for the past few months. There’s no 100% guarantee on how effective this is, but I am pretty sure its close to a 99% . so what are the rules I am dying to share about? Trust me on this, and its not one of those anti-acne advertising, ollla, I’m talking about the basics rules of life when dealing with relationship-particularly, when being in a position where u’re uncertain of your relationship.

Not everyone is blessed with the sparks and glitter and fireworks passion and fire being in a relationship- at least not in my case. For the past 10 months, my love life have been put to a test- which sooner I realize it wasn’t my love life that was put into test, it was me, myself.

So, this is a rather long-winded scenario of how I came out with it- or you can just opt to skip this and go straight to my priority list.

It just started when one day, I was terribly upset when my fling couldn’t make it on time (for the 10^th time or more) to meet me up- hey he’s just living next door. And so, I spent hours contemplating and bombarded with images of him cheating around or nonchalant of my existence.  My imagination insecurities when put together , it could form a cumulonimbus cloud.

every single expectation i had, seem to be put to a disappointment. so how do i avoid further disappointment after so many confrontation?

And then, an awful feeling struck, I realize, I have been spending weeks and so, and wandering my mind off my work wallowing in dubious thoughts when all I needed was a confrontation.

I have been studying consistently, my priorities are in tact – but at that moment, I felt intense guilt over time wasted on that matter.

Worse, despite the guilt, I still couldn’t comfort my thoughts and lay my priorities again.

The time that I spent wasting on these thought would have been much more worth to be spent on harnessing my accounts and calculus studies that will surely promise a positive benefit in comparision to hours spent on a man.

In relationships of uncertainties, I realize I need to come out with a form of solution. By making incremental change with consistency, i believe it can make a difference. this is a little exercise to building up resistance from distraction.

Rule 1 : list out practical and achievable priorities in life in a notebook.

Rule 2 : keep referring to your priorities and spend 10 minutes a daily thinking of what you can improve about yourself- never waste time on people who could potentially hurt your feelings. Stick to your closest friend and family =)

Rules 3 : carry out your priorities.

Rule 4 : like oxygen, breathe and live according to these 4 fundamental rules.

I realize ever since I’ve ruled out this method. I deal with procastination lesser. Given months ago, I would have opt to dwell in my emotions/insecurities and probably gone to bangsar and spend 3 hours complaining to my best friend so much, it has become a die-hard habit instead of moving on a be productive.

Lastly, have fun!

With love, me !

PINK PEACH DIARY

I've decided since i've have my own written diary, why not i share it with you all. so here it goes written by yours truly *flicks hair in glittered background*

Monday 21 February

2.oo am- doing accounts although was supposed to meet him to watch "The Notebook" at 10 FUCKING PM. no calls no nothing as promised. fuck .he's definitely on my Death Note list.

7.30 am-woke up at  and decided to sleep for another 1.2 hour before 8.30 class.

received text from Michelle saying she saw a girl ( she better be fat and fugly) coming out of his room.

my mind went berserk

!#!@$@#$@#%#$%#$#^%$ !!! !#!@#!!!

calmly pick up a solution like a poised lady and decided to investigate on that instead of jumping to conclusions - thanks to CCTV camera in my apartment ;)

YOU would say, we're not in a relationship, thus we both can cheat. WELL, I don't give a flying FUCK.

10.30am - had breakfast at Chillax after telling Michelle and Nicole about my swell idea - which they both find rather unnecessary, anyway yes. i'm doing it.

10.45am - In Chillax Cafe and the first page it flipped on Cleo(Nov 2009 issue 169) was an article titled " Is it time to dump him".
xx. me.